What to Wear to a Wake: Complete Guide to Appropriate Viewing Attire

Knowing what to wear to a wake helps you pay proper respects while supporting grieving family members. A wake, also called a visitation or viewing, is a gathering before the funeral where friends and family view the deceased and offer condolences. The dress code is typically slightly less formal than a funeral but still calls for respectful attire.

Understanding Wake Dress Codes

What Is a Wake?

A wake serves several purposes:

• Viewing the deceased in an open or closed casket setting
• Offering condolences to the immediate family
• Gathering with others who knew the deceased
• Sharing memories and supporting one another

Wake vs. Funeral Attire

While similar, wake attire is often:

• Slightly less formal than funeral attire
• More flexible in color choices
• Practical for potentially longer gatherings
• Comfortable for standing and socializing

However, respect and appropriateness remain paramount.

Women’s Wake Attire Guide

Classic Options

Conservative Dress

• Knee-length or longer in dark colors
• Black, navy, dark gray, or deep burgundy
• Simple, understated design
• Comfortable enough for standing

Separates

• Dark trousers or skirt
• Conservative blouse or sweater
• Blazer or cardigan for polish

Dress Pants Ensemble

• Tailored pants in dark color
• Modest top with appropriate coverage
• Low-heeled shoes

Color Guidelines

Always Appropriate:

• Black
• Navy blue
• Charcoal gray
• Dark brown
• Deep purple or burgundy

Sometimes Acceptable:

• Muted pastels (depending on cultural context)
• Subtle patterns with dark backgrounds
• Dark florals

Avoid:

• Bright, flashy colors
• White (unless culturally appropriate)
• Neon or electric hues
• Bold, attention-grabbing patterns

Footwear

Choose comfortable, modest shoes:

• Low heels or flats
• Closed-toe preferred
• Dark colors (black, navy, brown)
• Comfortable for standing

Accessories

Keep it simple:

• Minimal jewelry
• Small, dark handbag
• No flashy watches or statement pieces
• Optional: Dark scarf or wrap

Men’s Wake Attire Guide

Appropriate Options

Suit

• Dark suit in black, navy, or charcoal
• White or light blue dress shirt
• Dark tie (optional but adds formality)

Business Casual

• Dark dress pants
• Button-down shirt in neutral color
• Blazer or sport coat optional

Smart Casual

• Khakis or dress pants
• Polo or button-down shirt
• Clean, polished appearance

What to Avoid

• Jeans (unless the family specifically says casual)
• Athletic wear
• T-shirts with graphics
• Shorts
• Sneakers (unless very clean and dark)

Grooming

• Neat, clean appearance
• Trimmed facial hair
• Subtle or no cologne
• Clean, polished shoes

Cultural and Religious Considerations

Catholic Wakes

• Traditional dark, conservative attire
• Modest coverage expected
• Rosary beads may be present—observe quietly

Jewish Visitations

• Dark, modest clothing
• Men may need a kippah (often provided)
• Conservative dress standards

Orthodox Christian Wakes

• Very conservative, dark attire
• Women may need head covering
• Long sleeves preferred

Irish Wakes

• Traditional dark attire
• May be more social gathering atmosphere
• Still maintain respectful appearance

African American Traditions

• Often more flexibility in formal wear
• Church attire is often appropriate
• Ask the family about specific preferences

The Venue Factor

Funeral Home Wakes

Most wakes occur at funeral homes:

• Climate-controlled indoor setting
• Standing for extended periods
• Meeting many people
• Signing guest books

Dress accordingly:

• Comfortable shoes for standing
• Layers for varying temperatures
• Pockets or small bag for tissues

Home Wakes

Some families host wakes at home:

• May be slightly less formal
• Consider removing shoes (ask or observe)
• More intimate gathering

Church Wakes

When held in a church:

• Lean toward more formal attire
• Follow church dress code norms
• Modest coverage expected

Timing Considerations

Daytime Wakes

Often slightly more casual:

• Business casual is often appropriate
• Dark colors still preferred
• Lighter fabrics acceptable

Evening Wakes

Typically more formal:

• Darker attire expected
• More traditional dress codes
• Suits or dresses preferred

What NOT to Wear to a Wake

Regardless of the specific setting, avoid:

❌ Casual wear (jeans, t-shirts, sneakers) ❌ Bright, flashy colors ❌ Revealing clothing (low necklines, short skirts) ❌ Heavy perfume or cologne ❌ Statement jewelry or accessories ❌ Athletic or workout wear ❌ Ripped or distressed clothing ❌ Overly trendy or attention-seeking outfits

Children at Wakes

When bringing children:

• Dress them neatly in dark or muted colors
• Comfortable but appropriate clothing
• Shoes they can keep on
• Consider the child’s age and attention span

Last-Minute Wake Outfit Ideas

If you’re rushing to a wake and need quick options:

Women:

• Dark dress from your closet
• Black pants with any conservative top
• Add a cardigan for modesty if needed

Men:

• Dark pants with button-down shirt
• Any dark blazer adds formality
• Clean, dark shoes

Wake Etiquette Beyond Attire

While there, remember:

• Speak quietly and respectfully
• Offer brief condolences to the family
• Share a memory if appropriate
• Don’t stay too long if the family seems overwhelmed
• Sign the guest book
• Silence your phone

How AI Can Help You Prepare

xlook AI can simplify wake attire decisions by:

• Finding appropriate pieces in your existing wardrobe
• Suggesting outfit combinations that are respectful
• Considering the occasion and venue type
• Saving you time during a stressful period

Wake Attire Checklist

Before leaving for a wake:

• Outfit is dark and conservative
• Clothing is clean and pressed
• Shoes are polished and comfortable
• Jewelry is minimal
• Perfume/cologne is light or absent
• You have tissues available
• Phone is on silent

Conclusion

Knowing what to wear to a wake allows you to focus on what matters most—paying respects and supporting those who are grieving. While the dress code is often less strict than a funeral, maintaining a conservative, respectful appearance shows your consideration for the deceased and their loved ones.

When in doubt, err on the side of formality and modesty. Your presence and support mean far more than your outfit, but dressing appropriately ensures you won’t add to anyone’s stress during this difficult time.

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